Yearning..

As the new day breaks in, she lays on the bed and opens her eyes slowly. She makes an effort to go philosophical. The spiritual book she read last night lingers on her mind and she decides to take the plunge once more. She gets up, looks into the mirror, tries to give a stressed curve to her cheeks and pretends to smile. She assumes all the benefits of doubts she has to give to all those who have been unjust and unfair too her. "For my god will forgive them, so how can I not understand? There must be a reason for them to act the way they do". The spiritual elation ends, and she moves out of her room, barefoot on the dusty floor to wash her face. Her mother downstairs is all set to bombard her with information, ideas, viewpoints and questions. As she withholds the silence in her heart and mind, the everyday routine question hits her. "How is everything between you and him honey?". A question that mother never forgets to ask. "All's well mum. What's for breakfast?". "So did he call? What all did you two talk about?". This was the sequel to her everyday chore. "He is busy. poor guy has to work really hard. He will call when he has to. it's alright!". She finishes her breakfast and flips the magazines for quick distraction. And the heart is filled with pain. As soon as mother's questioning stops, the inner calling returns. The desire of attention, and being so important for someone that you stand high on their priority list reverts the spiritual stance in her. She goes back to her room, looks at his photographs and sobs for half and hour. After the inner fight with her love and God, her mind stands still. Her heart stops feeling, she goes numb. This is her EVERYDAY. She does not plan to change this. She never likes to change anything in her life. People, most importantly, especially Him. She lets them stay as they are, unchanged. She only dreams that one day, she is his Queen. For her, he would one day de-prioritize the money matters and makes an entry to her dreamworld. The dreamworld of a simple peaceful life. A house with a garden, flowers, butterflies, dogs and their puppies. A small closet with few but favourite clothes. Some books which the couple reads together. A small clock that makes the two of them reach their workplaces in time to earn a fruitful and satisfying living. A small kitchen where he watches her cook small meals. A room where they make love and fall in love each night. A home full of smiles!!! And the clock strikes eight. It's time to go to work. That one segment of her life which gives her meaningful distraction is her workplace. She gets ready and leaves for work. In her huge office room, she looks around and waits for something. What is it? It's Him! The pain returns and she runs to the rest room. She sobs again. The spiritual quietness returns. Numb, she comes out to take her seat to work on the report her assistant sent. The phone bell rings. She is alarmed and hopeful. It's her mother's call. Her mother is the only one who checks on her well being everyday at office. As she looks at the phone, she hopes that one day, it would be him who would call her and check on her well being and make her smile. And she smiles and says "Hello mum". Evening comes and goes as everyone returns home with their set of office stories. The dreadful night returns when she expects him the most and he does not return. He is not a regular guy. He has priorities. He likes to work and make money. That is more meaningful than any chit chat. He hardly smiles. But he is indeed affectionate. He is not very good on phone. But he cares when she is with him.They meet once in six months. She reminds herself of the sweet memories and makes herself smile. She hopes that the next morning is the day of their meeting and closes her eyes. She prays to her God that the next day should not be an EVERYDAY.