Today is that Day!!

My idea of perfect love?

With some one who is happy in your happiness... who is worried when you are sad.. when u r in trouble.. he makes effort to curb the problems.. on whose lap u forget all ur worries..n happiness.. when you are quiet....clueless.. alive yet lifeless.. like a leaf who is to be taken care by him..

but I guess.. I have done a blunder.. a big mistake.. that my god has not granted him to me..but I would just say.. god every one makes mistake.. but u have forgiven them.. and granted their wishes. m I not your child? today is that day.. grant me that wish.. one wish that I ask for.. my belief in you, ur beautiful creation that is me should stay alive.. don't you want this? I am waiting for your miraculous ending.. when my idealism holds true to the world. don't make me wait so much. that when it actually arrives.. I loose the sanity to realise, accept or be happy to recieve it. I dont think I would be able to stay that long.

The one.. who is polite, happy, loving, caring and does not take anyone for granted.
if i am kind, he should appreciate it and not use it.

Dear God,

hope uou are doing fine!! I would like to make that wish , light the candle, look into your eyes ans ask you... will you grant him to me.. he who loves me. he who respects me, he who would like to hold my hand forever and ever...and love me.. like no one ever loves anyone. I am sure you have not made me that bad. i am sure i am your loving child. I am sure you would not like anyone to hurt me. then why the delay? then why the betrayal? then why the half hearted incomplete relationships?
atleast once, don't give me hints that it wont happen.. give me an affirmation.

I hope you take my plea into your kind consideration..

yours affectionately
charu!

MY GOD!!

everyone in this world has a god.. believe me.. no one is an athiest... one's beliefs, principles in life are formulated as one's god...
that's a different thing that some people give it a virtual form and some adhere to a concrete one.any object from a mirror painting to a jewel.. can become a belief and a form of god.

and what if you loose that form? does your life come to an end? yes, to a certain extent.. the formulated god is the symbol of concreteness and the fullness of one's dignity, integrity and purity of actions and thoughts. once you loose your form of god, you loose the above mentioned traits in your personality.. you suddenly feel incomplete, shallow, narrow, hollow.. whichever way you describe it... the idea is to convey the sense of loss within.
and magically.. your life actually becomes sinful and pragmatic to the extent that you cross your boundaries of self to become an insane human bieng who is deteriorating at every level without his/ her knowledge..his actions are not in proportion to his thoughts. self respect, dignity, priority of life changes and gets mingled with the mud of the selfish world.. the big bad world.. you are used, killed at aevery level. you just do not realise it. thanks to the dreams that start to haunt you and finally make you realise of your fall. they show you how you are falling down the stairs again and again into the miseries. you become everything you hated to be. then comes the grand realisation of the loss of the god!! one can call it superstition but it holds true! those who loose a concrete form of thier god called superstitious...(like me..) and those who don't have a concrete representation of thier god with themselves, claim that they have lost thier consciousness... thier principalities.. whichever.. whatever... one has lost thier god anyway...

they say.. whatever goes.. comes back.. its a vicious circle and is supposed to get completed.. sooner or later...

so will the lost god ever return.. will the dignity ever come back? will i ever live again? will the lights show up again?

what can one say.. wait for the miraculous ending...

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

One feels really proud to watch a film like slumdog millionaire as an indian.. The view point is two edged however. One feels proud to see Jamal to live up to a life of miseries and hardships and finally live his dreams n his love life. On the other hand its sad to see the grim picture of Mumbai slums. But I recently read an article in a daily newspaper that many actors who were a part of this grim picture were paid too less.. rs. 50 to be precise. Are we( read the makers) not contradictory then? The slum areas are created then, not by anyone but by these rich filmakers. I am very sure that paying a little more to these actors would not have made a difference to the filmakers.They regret to see the ugly slums so that poeple wake up to react. but what have they done at thier end? Who are rich dudes even before they made a oscar winning film. None of us actually are bothered to improve upon the situation of these people who are living in such gross and unhygenic conditions. Rather the profit makers hire them for small "roles" to play in thier big projects and don't even pay them the required matched up amount.

Then we the rich dudes are actually called the slumdogs as we are poor from within.
What is required is that we all should gather up to do our little bit for people like these. Contributing money for them is just a simple way. Giving them education is another.

AFTERMATH

Aftermath... comes in many kinds of packages...destruction, annihilation, a complete change...but what it makes most of a human is DISHONEST. she is dishonest to evryone...even to herself... she pretends that no one has the tendency to hurt her anymore as she must have seen the worst..already...she pretends that if everyone leaves her she would still have the tendency to live all by herself..
wat a materialistic and vain life it is..and this materialistic object is what she starts to live by..doing the make-up over her face, wearing great clothes and heals..
she fears to go a shrine.. a temple..for that's a place where she can't hide herself... she is plain.. naked.. in front of the almighty...
she is exposed to herself..

but looking at the positive side.. atleast she can live and stand till the very edge...
she is forever strong..does not give the right to any one to hurt her anymore.. she is dishonest but safe from the cruel world...
is it not alright to stay like this rather than exposing your vulnerability to the world.. a world that does not care...

as far as the crack is concerned... that will happen anyways... then y not stay strong rude , yet happy though artificially for some time...

then some will go on..

she is been bad,
she has been rude,
she has been cribbing, with a lot of attitude,
love her not, my dear heart,
for love has already torn her apart...
and your love will only become another dart..

I need to find..........

I need to find a dictionary.. which has words.. more words n more words.... which can describe the feelings one ungergoes in today's world...the world is no more simple.. it does not revolve on the same platforms as it used to .. the ethics, aesthetics , values, outlook, principles people as an entity have changed...there is host of emotions and ideas which are trying to break free from our fenced framed brain.. the path they require is expression... through words. which we all are unable to find...

There are so many ideas I need to express right now.. but I cannot... as I don't have appropriate words left with me...
Do these words actually don't exist? or they exist.. n we don't have the access to them...

Big question!!

what is love???

What is love? I don't know.. I thought I knew all about it.. but falling in and out of it has made me boggle on the word again... many poeple define it in thier own terms. for nation lovers it's all about the service you can provide to ur countrymen. For youngsters, love is a crazy feeling for thier favourite filmstars..for a wife her love is her husband.. I doubt if the children come under that category or not! money takes over the feeling of love for those entreprenuers. the list is endless...

Is love blind? yes, to some extent. it is blind.. but you go blind when you are in love or when u r out of it? I guess it's both but the intensity is more on the latter part of it. All is happy rosy and beautiful while u r in love. you don't see the negative side of anything. Gosh you so negatively positive...

once you are out of love.. the body and mind goes round.. you keep thinking of the person.. which is rationally not required now. you dt think of anyone but them. you are so immersed in your own sadness and grief that you forget to look after your friends, family , you forget that you belong to tother poeple also. And if by god's grace you realize this, GUILT is the where zone you end up.then what? start hating yourself? or trying to fill up the gaps. generally, that gap is now filled up ... by someone else. when you were not there. so you loose it there also. moreover, the rest of the world seems dingy, dark ,gloomy hell like place. Earlier you were living for two people atleast. the one you loved, and yourself. now you are not.. not for them, yourself or for anyone who needed you but does not require you anymore. You dont seem to recognize the beauty of the world. WHAT THE HECK..is what you start living on........

love .. then is......... JUST A CHEMICAL REACTION IN YOUR BRAIN...

kindly keep it out of reach........

IDEAS CLICK!!!

I am a teacher.. i teach the students how to write well.. it's always easy to write about the things that we see around us.. the enviornment, the scenes, the sounds we hear, everythg around us stimulates our thoughts and we pen them down whenever we find a pen and a paper. But wat if someones is toatlly blank? Someone, who does not like to go out and see the world around? Someone who is so self centered that the world does not exist beyond his own self? If such a person is asked to write, what wud he write about? Firstly.. would he agree on expressing his views.. fortunately, if he does.. what are the thoughts that might churn into his mind? Will he be troubled? or just stay blank?

Why this struck me? Writing about poeple who do not like to express? Well it came to my mind when I took a creative writing test in my class... some of them wrote very well... some were average.. and some gave me a blank sheet.Did they not like the topic? Or they did not know how to appoach the theme? Or they were simply DISINTERESTED? Yes!! some of them actually were...... disinterested.

These are only small school kids.. why would they be bothered about various things that happen in our world? till they get seventeen, India expects nothing out of them.

But what after that? Will these adults then be in a pisition to react? Someone faints, someone meets with an acident, someone gets killed... will they ever stop thier carS n get out to help the poeple in need? Or they will just pass by... thinking the same old thing...that if one sets out to help the needy he himself might get caught in the web...

Peope the get used to not reacting ... not now... never ever..

whose fault is it? the poeple? or the authority, the education system of our country? its a vicious circle....
is it?
i think not...
who made the system? WE, THE POEPLE OF INDIA.
who can, then, change the system? WE, THE POEPLE OF INDIA.
we should all learn to react... the beginners might be called the Jimmy Porters and Albert Pintos but we need to show the world...that Osborne is not dead!!
If we dont react and take action ... we will actually make our lives a vicious circle... and we will never come out of it.
NOT NOW.. NEVER EVER